Strategies for Managing and Enhancing an Existing Marriage: Insights and Biblical Perspectives.
Dr. Afolabi Olajuwon
In an era where the sanctity and stability of marriage are besieged by numerous challenging dynamics, exploring innovative and time tested strategies to manage and enhance marital relationships is vital. This article aims to provide academic insights and practical applications for scholars, pastors, counsellors, and married individuals striving to foster a healthier, more vibrant marriage grounded in Christian beliefs and values. Through adopting these strategies, couples can work towards a resilient, fulfilling union that honours both their commitments and their faith.
Marriage, often termed as a sacred union in various cultures, is predominantly depicted as a covenant in the Bible (Proverbs 2:17). This article evaluates diverse modern challenges faced by married couples and proposes strategies grounded in biblical doctrine to address these issues, thereby enriching the matrimonial bond.
Communication as a Cornerstone:
Effective communication is fundamental in marriage. Ephesians 4:29 advises, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” This emphasizes the importance of positive and uplifting communication. Strategies include:
Regular Check-ins: Establishing daily or weekly check-ins to share feelings, experiences, and expectations.
Active Listening: Emphasizing listening to understand, not just to respond, reflects the biblical principle of giving attention to one’s partner’s words as a form of respect and love.
Forgiveness and Reconciliation:
Forgiveness is a powerful tool in maintaining a peaceful marital environment. Colossians 3:13 encourages believers to “bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Strategies for promoting forgiveness include:
Prompt Conflict Resolution: Encouraging immediate addressing of issues rather than allowing resentment to build up.
Counselling Sessions: Utilizing professional or pastoral counselling to facilitate deeper understanding and reconciliation.
Continuous Growth and Learning:
A marriage thrives on continuous personal and mutual growth. Proverbs 9:9 states, “Instruct the wise and they will be wiser still; teach the righteous and they will add to their learning.” Applying this, couples can:
Join Marriage Workshops/Seminars: Regular participation in marriage education programmes to learn new skills and adapt to evolving marital roles.
Spiritual Growth Together: Engaging in shared spiritual activities like prayer, meditation, or study groups to deepen the spiritual connection and mutual values.
Prioritizing Time Together:
In the face of busy schedules, prioritizing time together is crucial. Ecclesiastes 9:9 advises to “Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun.” Strategies include:
Scheduled Date Nights: Committing to regular quality time to strengthen emotional bonds.
Joint Activities: Participating in hobbies or interests that both partners enjoy, fostering joy and companionship.
Expressions of Appreciation and Love:
Regular expressions of appreciation and love can significantly enhance marital satisfaction. Song of Solomon 5:10-16 is a biblical example of expressing admiration and love vividly. Recommendations to put this into practice:
Verbal Affirmations: Regularly verbalizing appreciation and affection.
Acts of Service: Performing kind acts for each other as expressions of love and commitment.
In conclusion, building a fulfilling and lasting marriage requires intentionality and effort. By applying biblical principles such as effective communication, forgiveness, lifelong learning, prioritization of marital time, and expressions of love, married couples can enhance their relationship profoundly. These strategies not only cater to maintaining but also enriching the covenant of marriage, as envisioned within the Scripture.
